They Really Didn't Know?!

"I didn’t know I was pregnant..."

I thought it was all that fast-food I had been eating.

I blamed it on pre-wedding stress.

I figured the heartburn was because of all the ice cream I was noshing on before bed. (Bad idea.)

I didn’t have any symptoms at all!

I thought the discomfort was because of my back problem—I had surgery a few years ago.

I woke up with terrible pain and went to the bathroom and…HAD A BABY!

Seriously? (By the way, I’m not, NOT, NO WAY talking about ME here.)

            This is the TLC show, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, and every time I flip on the tube when Max needs a bottle, I catch 10-minute spurts of this cable drama. It’s ridiculous, unbelievable. It’s on par with the free US Weekly subscription I was getting for a while. (Oh, US, how I miss your red carpet photo spreads. I do.) I hesitated to admit in writing that I have been watching this show…but why not? The drama sucks me in every time. And while half tuning in, half babbling to Max as he gulps, I catch myself reasoning: “O.K. So, maybe this is possible…I can see that…sure, seems like that could happen.”

            But really, you had no idea you were with child?!

            Hmm. Well, I guess I’m just very tuned into my body. Heartburn isn’t normal. Stomach tightening á la Braxton Hicks is not normal. Blimp-like swelling of my appendages, not normal. Looking down at your tummy and actually seeing baby’s elbow jut out as he shifts to get more comfortable in his bed-womb…I wouldn’t exactly call that indigestion.

            The thing is, in each of these women’s very unique cases—unique except for the fact that birthing au toilette is a common theme—I sort of can see why they thought their body changes were not pregnancy. I mean, who knows? We all respond so differently to having a little one grow inside us for the better part of a year. I, for one, would catch on to that basketball shape that gradually emerged and rendered leg-shaving impossible, but packing on a few pounds in the middle isn’t that abnormal for many.

            So, who am I to judge? And believe me, as I tune in (yes, almost daily), I’m not thinking, “Girl, you’re crazy!” I’m just hoping to God the couple gets that baby out of the toilet in time.

            Curious? Just turn on TLC some time today. Chances are, you’ll catch an episode.